Is your life actually falling apart behind the scenes while you look fantastic on Instagram? It’s time to stop trading your real happiness for fake likes.

We all know the feeling. You scroll through social media and see a 23-year-old buying a house, your college friend engaged to a bank manager, or someone posting “matching pajamas” photos for Christmas. Suddenly, your life feels inadequate.

In a recent episode of The Untamed Section, host Eric Khay and mental health worker Solomon dive deep into a brutal truth plaguing our generation: We are addicted to impressing people who do not care.

From taking out loans for weddings to choosing “prestigious” jobs that pay peanuts, the pressure to maintain a certain social status is literally destroying our mental health and finances.

Here is why you need to stop living for the applause and start living for yourself.

1. The “Outside Gentility, Home Cry” Trap

There is a powerful saying mentioned in the episode: “Outside gentility, home cry.” It describes the phenomenon of looking fantastic to the public while secretly suffering behind closed doors [09:26].

We see this most often in relationships. Many people (men and women alike) will choose a partner who looks good on paper, like a wealthy bank manager who is disrespectful, over a teacher who is kind and compassionate, simply because the “status” of the partner wins them points with society [05:45].

The result? You get the applause at the wedding, but you go home to a miserable marriage.

2. The Wedding Loan Disaster

Speaking of weddings, are you more interested in the ceremony or the marriage?

One of the most dangerous financial decisions you can make is taking a loan to fund a one-day party just to prove you have “arrived” [21:53]. As Eric bluntly puts it, this is near the top of the “hierarchy of stupidity.”

Society will pressure you to have the lavish event, but society will not be there to help you pay off that debt when the guests have gone home. If you are starting your union in a financial hole just to impress guests, you are setting yourself up for resentment before you even cut the cake [23:29].

3. The “White Collar” Poverty Myth

This one hits hard. There is a massive stigma against “dirty jobs” that actually pay well.

Many graduates would rather stay unemployed or take a low-paying office job that requires a suit and tie than take a lucrative job that involves getting their hands dirty [15:54]. Why? Because being a “mobile phone seller” or a tradesperson doesn’t look as prestigious on LinkedIn as “Executive Assistant.”

We are prioritizing the aesthetic of success over actual financial freedom.

4. Stop Comparing Your “Raw Footage” to Their “Edited Movie”

Social media has weaponized our natural desire to compare ourselves to others. But here is the reality check you need: Content is a product, not a person.

When you look at an influencer’s life, you are seeing a curated, edited highlight reel. You are comparing that to your own “raw footage”—the messy, unedited reality of your daily life [27:05]. It is a game you will never win because you are comparing reality to fiction.

How to Escape the Cycle

So, how do we stop? Solomon suggests we need to develop Emotional Literacy [25:34].

• Audit your decisions: Before you buy that car, take that job, or post that photo, ask yourself: Is this for me, or is this for them?

• Align with your values: If a decision doesn’t align with your personal happiness and values, don’t do it, no matter what “society” expects.

• Practice Digital Minimalism: Be careful what you consume. If your brain is a sponge, stop dipping it in “rubbish content” [24:38].

Do you agree that social pressure is the root of unhappiness? Let us know in the comments!